Most know how my journey into healing was catapulted into hyper-drive, but for those who don’t I shall update.
My sweet loving husband had a seizure whilst we were together. Him being 26 years old, myself 23. It was the single most terrifying thing I have experienced. We were in an intimate and loving moment when in an instant my love was transformed into a creature, he seemed so super natural. I know that may sound awful, but I had never seen someone experience a seizure before. I was scared. I was alone.
At first I just watched him while my brain comprehended what was happening. Then something inside me switched. It was as though sudden clarity slapped me in the face, and shook my body of any hysteria.
I was straight on to the phone to the ambulance, whilst emptying the bath water and monitoring his breathing.
It was then, in his most vulnerable moment, that I became carer. Its close to what I imagine giving birth would be. No longer was my life my highest priority. There was someone who needed me so much more than I needed myself.
Fast forward to the next day, a CT scan confirms we have a lump. I can’t say whether it was naivety or positivity, but we didn’t fully comprehend what we were dealing with. Or the possibilities we were facing. How could we? We had been married 2 weeks, living together 3 months, still finding our way as partners in crime. But like true partners, it was his positivity that fed mine. We had just opened the lid to Pandoras box and all he was wondering was if he could still go overseas , and if he could get some Hungry Jacks.
It wasn’t until 2 weeks later, after they took the biopsy, that we discovered the worst. That truth. That catalyst. Those horrific words. Terminal. Brain. Cancer. I don’t think we will ever forget that day. Walking into the office, the sterility. Not once did he cry. My sweet man. If only I could hear his thoughts, to know how it felt. I will never know if his strength for the benefit of his mum, or myself, or himself. But he was brave enough to ask what happens now; where do we go from here? How will my life change? It was then, listening to him as he stared into the face of his own mortality, that I knew I could face what ever challenges we were given, because I saw the strength I had myself, within him.
They told us 12 months. And to enjoy it while you can.
They were wrong. We would go to prove them wrong.